1. Played Farmville
2. Played Mafia Wars
3. Played Minesweeper
4. Played Solitaire
5. Played World of Warcraft
6. Played on our Xbox
7. Played on our GameCube
8. Played on our PlayStation
9. Filled in crossword puzzles
10. Filled in Sudoku
11. Hung out at the mall
12. Hung out at Starbucks
13. Hung out at the beach
14. Hung out at the campground
15. Twittered about trivial things
16. Blogged about trivial things
17. Texted each other about trivial things
18. Chatted on messenger about trivial things
19. Emailed about trivial things
20. Wrote on Facebook walls and photo pages about trivial things
21. FAIL’d, FTW’d, LOL’d, and ROFL’d
22. Learned what WTF and OMFG meant, and used them anyway
23. Consulted Wikipedia about episodes, but not about ethics
24. Clicked the StumbleUpon button…again
25. Browsed the photos on Flickr
26. Browsed the drawings on DeviantArt
27. Browsed the pages on TV Tropes
28. Browsed the forums on Reddit
29. Browsed the forums on Digg
30. Browsed months worth of archives of online cartoons
31. Browsed through online ‘top ten’ lists
32. Browsed the suggested videos on Youtube
33. Had a goldmine of information at our fingertips, but Googled for Kim Kardashian
34. Played around with our iphones
35. Played around with our ipods
36. Played around with our ipads
37. Played around with the stock market
38. Watched MTV and Nickolodeon
39. Watched football
40. Watched basketball
41. Watched baseball
42. Watched House
43. Watched Gray’s Anatomy
44. Watched Sex and the City
45. Watched Desperate Housewives
46. Watched Lost and obsessed about its every detail on online forums
47. Watched the Twilight movies and complained how dumb they were
48. Watched the Transformers movies and complained how loud they were
49. Watched DaVinci Code and and complained how boring it was
50. Watched Cloverfield and complained how shakey it was
51. Watched Slumdog Millionaire and then did nothing for the poor
52. Watched porn online even though we would never do anything like that in the company of others
53. Pirated movies and music even though we would never steal from others in public
54. Ranted in ALL CAPS at people in online forums even though we would never be so rude in person
55. Hid behind privacy settings and incognito windows because we were ashamed of where we had been
56. Hid behind usernames and anonymous avatars because we were ashamed to stand behind what we wrote
57. Argued over Star Trek vs. Star Wars
58. Argued over Mac, PC and Linux
59. Argued over Chrome, Firefox, Safari and Internet Exploder
60. Argued over Leno, Letterman and Conan
61. Bashed Bush and Obama instead of praying for them
62. Bashed Muslims, Scientologists and Fundamentalists without learning much about their beliefs
63. Bashed others’ grammatical errors without engaging their positions
64. Bashed BP without doing anything ourselves to help the environment
65. Read atheist books critical of religions rather than reading the Bible or the book of Mormon for ourselves
66. Read People magazine rather than international news
67. Knew more about the lives of Lindsay Lohan and Justin Bieber than about the lives of Mahatma Gandhi or Martin Luther King Jr
68. Knew more about combining Coke and Mentos than about combining justice and mercy
69. Knew more about how to download a file than about how to lift up a person
70. Knew more about how to make a reservation than about how to make a difference

…and when our broken planet, our lost human race, and our own impoverished souls called out to us, we announced that we would have given more, but we didn’t have the money, that we would have helped more, but we didn’t have a clue what to do, and that we would have found out what to do, but we didn’t have the time or energy to do so.